Don’t Settle

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Don’t Settle


Get it through your mind:
Good enough is not good enough.

When you have a dream, a goal or an expectation,
Settling half-way there is simply not okay.
You’re not destined to be three-quarters of your potential.
You’re destined to be all of it!

What is that you told yourself that made it acceptable for you to be “less than”? Was it fear? Due to time? Because of difficulty?
Really now. What was it that made you build a glass box around yourself so that you could peer at possibilities but not move forward?

Your mind. YOUR mental shackles. Your THINKING.

And that’s what you have to change first.

Your thoughts influence your attitude, which affects your actions, which impact your conversations, which sway how people respond to you, which guide the way you think about yourself, which influences your attitude… and you wind up settling. Got the circular picture? Change your thinking, followed by all of the rest.

Here’s how not to settle:

State what you really, really want. Write it down. Post it up. Drill it into your psyche.

After analyzing it, determine which aspects of it are non-negotiable. Commit that to paper, too, and don’t compromise on these.

Decide – ahead of time – what things reflect work-in-progress and advancement toward your goal. Give yourself rewards for heading, forthrightly, toward it.

Identify the warning signals, the things you know you do that derail you and sabotage your outcomes. When you see them, stop them dead in their tracks.

Build in reality checks. Be relentless in this. What progress did you make? What set-backs occurred? What recoveries did you activate? What was your quantity of effort? What is the quality of your result? Be bold and candid here. Your future, your concept, your dream is at stake.

Ignore limiting voices, first of all, your own. Don’t accept the reasons, the excuses, the “just trying to help” rationales from you or anyone else. They’ll pull you down and into complacency.

You were not meant to be mediocre. Don’t become it.
You were not meant to settle. Don’t do it.
Good enough is, in fact, not enough.
Be aggressive. Go grab your soul’s desire!


Bright Moments

In what ways are you settling?

Did you abandon a dream, compromise a belief, or tolerate a situation?

When was it that you gave yourself permission to be less than you’re capable of being? When you succumbed to fear or pressure or inertia?

Why was that okay to do? Because you didn’t have to deal with it any longer, to continue to be frustrated, or face up to the truth?

How’s that working for you?

Do you feel that angst rising in your stomach? Your jaw tightening? The sigh escaping?

Does that tell you something?

Have you noticed that settling in one area makes you more willing to settle in others?

It’s something to think about, isn’t it?

Up to this point, what you’ve read here have all been questions. That chatter in your mind that you hear? You’ve been providing answers. You’re not done with this issue yet.

So, now what?

What’s one small thing you can do today to settle less and reclaim your self-worth, your dignity or direction? It doesn’t have to be huge. It just has to be meaningful.

And then, when you’ve taken that step, smile to yourself and say, “Well done!”

Restoring Trust

You’ve heard this truth:  It takes a lot to earn trust,
but little to lose it.

Any misstep – a breach of confidence, not showing up, a so-called joke – can turn a trusting relationship into one of uncertainty and skepticism.  Unaddressed, that bond breaks and mistrust redirects the relationship.

So here’s the big – though, perhaps, unpopular – question:

Who is the person in your life – at work, at home or otherwise –
who trusts you less than they used to because of something you’ve done?

Just in case your mind named a person and quickly jumped to the story behind the scenes – why it happened, who was involved, all of that mental chatter – let it go.  Your intent isn’t at issue here.  Your impact is.  You’ve lost some of his or her trust.

Do you want to restore it?  Would a return to trust benefit either or both of you?  Let’s say your answer to both questions is Yes. There are some key things you have to do:

  • Acknowledge the breach and do it soon.
    Don’t cringe. You may have to muster some courage and endure feeling a bit exposed, but that’s better than having your weakness for addressing the issue be perceived as wickedness.
  • Apologize.
    Be sincere, straightforward about what happened, and ask for forgiveness.  Describe the unwanted effect of your behavior.  While you’re admitting your mistake, though, don’t load the description with excuses.  Frankly, you’re likely the only one who cares about your reasons.  Your colleague or family member simply wants to know what you’re going to do to rectify the situation.
  • Identify the behavior changes you will make and implement them.
    Actions speak so much louder than words.  You have to follow through.

Now.  Let’s walk through the situation you want to repair:

Whose trust did you break?


What did you do?


Why do you want to restore this trust?


What words are important in your apology?


What three behavior changes will you make in order to restore the relationship?

How will you establish accountability for following through with these efforts?


By what date will you approach the person whose trust you affected?


Good for you for figuring this out. Now, you certainly know the next step:  Go take care of it.

Best wishes!

May you continue to have Bright Ideas!